thank you for my family

today was my dead sisters anniversary.
she'd be 11.
we watched movies all day and i didnt get dressed until 7:30 when we ate dinner.
its hard on my parents even tho they're split up.
i think they split up because of her.
in some ways i blame her for it.
this year was a bit easier.
i didnt cry although i havent cried for a while.
my heart seems to beat faster and faster till i think i might explode.
my hands shake, and my head hurts.
i think about how we are today and love that we are all sitting in our living room talking.
just talking.
no laughing.
no yelling.
no fighting.
just talking.
and it was wonderful.